Is that post worth commenting on?

Is that post worth your finite time and energy?
You gotta check yourself first. Here is why...

• When we read “polarising” content, why is it that we feel the need to comment? And often comment in "outrage"? or "outrage" dressed as "education", "constructive feedback," or "adding value to critical discourse?"

• There is a difference between polarising content and content that is harmful.

• Our perception of what is considered "harmful" differs from person to person. It can depend on our level of healing (from trauma ( i.e. being triggered ), our knowledge of the subject matter, as well as our own relationship with shame and the world as well as other factors.

• Before commenting on a post that you feel "outraged" by, take a moment to sit, pause (also known as calming the f*ck down), reflect, and then decide how you can respond rather than react (in my experience, reacting can only cause you and others more harm).

• It's one of the reasons why I hardly comment on posts, and most of my comments are words of encouragement or a "yay".

• Other people's opinions are none of our business (unless, of course, they are harmful).

• And if I've got 2 cents to add (even if it's by a post I perceive as harmful), I first run it by a mentor or a person I trust and respect to see if it's worth my time and if my intentions are to SERVE or serve my own ego, trauma and personal agenda.

• We often don't know the context, let alone the story and expertise of the person behind the post. Posts don't always mean "all people." It can come across that way, and what is often not stated is that there is a small pool of people that are NOT like that. Often posts don't say that, and I've found the writer knows that already (when I've asked).

• And sometimes I've found that the person behind the post is actually speaking from their wounds, not their scars; they are hurting. There is more to the story than the words on a post.

• The irony is that we judge others for judging. Does that not make us the same and no better than them? Is that not the great equaliser?

• Seek to understand first rather than reacting.

• The world doesn’t need more shame; it needs more compassion.

ASK questions before parading your opinion like a pair of unwashed undies.

I am fully aware that I am not perfect (just ask my mother!). These are the insights I have learned from my own mistakes as well as coaching, educating, speaking and training 1,000's of people all around the world, as well as observing and researching human behavior.

In leadership workshops and programs - we unpack this more deeply. Rather than a "post" it's a comment in a meeting or over email. Learning to communicate with a service orientation rather than an ego orientation is what makes or breaks a leaders. Email me at hello@winitha.com.

Got questions about how to run a highly effective sponsorship program in your organisation?
Or want an IWD keynote that dynamically shifts how the audience thinks and feels?

Please do reach out and send me an email at hello@winitha.com. I'd love to help.

One life. All in.